I'm so horny!
I'm so hungry
WHAT A TERRIBLE REPLY!
For your pussy...
are you wasted or are you getting laid?
ebdebdebdebd
wow
can we take a shower together?
no need for the romantic shit. I'm a sure thing
He was putting purell on my boobs saying "they need to be clean for later." He hadn't had a drink all night
Hey its the Filipino guy from last night. I just wanted to say sorry my friend bled all over your driveway. Great party though.
I don't remember. I remember laying in the trunk of a car. For hours.
I watched her follow him out of the bar, chase him around the corner and literally throat punch him. It was awesome.
Currently cooking 3lbs of bacon in case the power goes out bc if even one slice of bacon goes to waste then sandy wins
Right now Tom has the 2nd floor office bathroom under siege. He shit/clogged one toilet, and he's throwing up in the sink.
Just puked in my hallway. Good start to a great night
So Bodhi just sent me a pic of someone's balls with a message that says "I hope you all have a ballin' night." I don't even know what level of friendship to call this anymore.
Oh my god.
The ballsiest level.
So my POF profile is full of Archer references. Only guys who get them will be getting any response to their messages.
so evidently blowing a guy does not mean he will say hi to you when he sees you in class.. in case you're ever wondering
I love waking up to reeses ice cream. But I DONT love waking up to it all over my cat. I blame you.
It's been THREE DAYS. Why do I still have the munchies?!
Randomize
