just threw up nine times in the shower.. solid night last night.
she just took adderol and chased it w dog water
You are the worst kind of disappointment. The responsible kind.
Please do NOT set off the smoke alarm when I am tied to the bed like this...
My night consisted of weed, sex, and Mexican food. In that order. I think we found the keys to saving our marriage.
I'm about one sudden movement away from being able to cross "throw up in a fortune 100 company's bathroom" off my bucket list.
The best part of tonight is drunk commenting on my moms pic about how birds just want to give you diseases and pluck out your eyes
He was making Jim beam nachos. Chips soaked in whiskey with cheese
We need a shit load of segways right now
Ok. As long as I can keep Kevin contained to the room I'll be ok. If not u might have a naked puking Kevin at ur door
You stopped loving me for a minute.
You sent me "Is nap," I don't think that really counts as a conversation starter.
I have a knack for carnage and poetic language.
I hate being on my period . Did you know that by the time I'm 30 I would've wasted 1,176 days of my life I could've had sex but couldn't bc I was on my period.
Eventually I will start sleeping with people who actually want to hangout with me the next day... But not today
The bartender remember my drink from last sat. I think we just became drocals...drunk. locals.
Randomize