people will do anything to get on MTV. like get pregnant.
If penises could fly, my ass would totally be an airport.
...so how do you feel about living with a lesbian next year?
hhaha i just laughed out loud when i read that
is that a "i laughed because im fine with it" or "im a republican" ?
How long is it safe to eat only Hot Pockets and Popsicles?
She gave 2 thumbs up when Nirvana came on the radio while blowing me in the bathroom
his life revolves around getting high and answering people on yahoo answers. he's perfect for you.
We picked up some guys dressed as shamrocks at taco bell. I will text you with further information.
I need Jameson.
Yea? How do you think I feel? Your job during the delivery is to keep that flask ready. The moment our kid pops out, I'm taking a shot.
He's the conductor of the struggle bus
I RODE THAT FINE PIECE OF STRUGGLE BUS
He asked me the next morning if he fell asleep inside of me. Drunk is an understatement.
all i remember is slapping you in the face with a slice of pizza while laughing maniacally.
Matt is trying to convince me that we have a deal where if I show him my tits he won't do cocaine. Apparently we shook hands on it?
i dont know how or why im in the gym right now, but theres a hot cop, a guy i hook up with, and his hot friend. this can only lead to every fantasy i ever had.
I just had a morning three-some with marijuana and a detachable shower-head
We'll handle his penis the same way we handle day drinking; together.
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