none of my boyfriends are responding right now, I thought I had enough to avoid this problem
i learned a valuable lesson last night. sometimes nice girls finish first. twice.
Jesus knows you're telling a lie.
Jesus stopped reading my text messages when I started drunk texting boys to hookup
Wow, So this kid just walked into class, yak'd on his lab partner then runs out. Class is now cancelled. I gotta find this kid and Thank him.
I always enjoy the bewildered gaze as I buy chips, salsa and beer @ 0745.
You are NEVER going to guess whose penis was JUST in my mouth!!!
I'll give you a hint, we ate paste with him in kindergarten.
Yes. Be the home wrecker you've always dreamed of being.
If is anything like my past relationships, I have no doubt that I will single-handedly reignite the Cold War
Also I think I'm starting to get calluses on my hands from my level of sexual activity
He got kicked out 3 times. I have no idea how he kept getting back in. I saw him walking on the highway the next morning.
But the guy you're fucking should not be within ten pounds of your weight when you're five fucking feet tall and he's 6'2". That's all I'm saying.
Four times in one night? That Energizer bunny outfit lived up to the hype.
A stripper just invited me to her daughter's birthday. Where did my life go wrong?
We were having sex but then he spanked me and i punched him but it was just a reflex i swear
Good morning 7am walk of shame. It's been awhile.
Randomize
