is it true you fucked a yoga instructor last night??! ..and let me know if you want me to post that question on your facebook so kelly can see how happy you are without her
One blow job doesn not make me gay.
GOING OUT OF BUSINESS: we're having a foreclosure party tonight...We'll also be raffling off a washer/dryer, microwave and a white tiger head.
It was like stroking your vagina with a cloud.
You threw up? Were you ladylike while you did it? I'm wagering that you were. Like a Disney princess. Like a "Puke Me Pretty" Barbie.
In the last 3 months, I've slept with an ex,someone single, someone in a relationship, someone married, and someone divorced. I should get some type of grown up girl scouts badge.
He walked in at 7am saying that the police had his shoes and phone because he's being investigated for attempted auto theft.
What is soo wrong about a house of half-naked people hugging each other and laughing?
The pinata full of drugs?
OMG BTW REMEMBER HOW HE ORDERED PIZZA THAT ONE TIME WE HOOKED UP. APPARENTLY HE WAS HANDING IT OUT TO PEOPLE WHO LIVE IN MY BUILDING AS HE WAS LEAVING
I woke up with a meat pie in my hand and my mouth tasting like an ashtray. I'm a catch, really!
I can only rely on you and Taco Bell
Just witnessed some guy throw his fake eye at his dad's face. Actually, he whipped it at him.
Btw. I have a sinus infection from doing cocaine in a portapotty at a Duran Duran concert. So, gimme a couple of days before y'all start the party.
He is a beautiful butterfly covered in tattoos and naked.
I'm not gonna plow a chick in front of her 14 year old brother....
Randomize
