That guy over there looks like a cartoon/action figure.
omg, i know.
we're too high.
why does he think he needs to feed/take me out to get some ass? we are at a bar wasting my fucking time
I feel like I'm back in highscool trying to hide my erections at work
I had to call maintenance to come unclog the toilet.
Something to remember me by.
We need to be on the same page regarding the 3some this time. No more "one of us should probably leave" moments.
There's something very strange about masturbating in a hotel room. I feel like I'm cheating on my room...
If she's over 40, she won't believe you if you say " I'm only going to put the head in"
Well yeah. Plus. My dick looks awful. So I would need to do some extreme makeover dick edition before even starting something so ridiculous.
CUM CAME OUT OF MY NOSE. MY SINUSES ARE ENTIRELY FUCKED UP NOW BC OF THE CUM TRAVELING IN PLACES IT SHOULD NOT HAVE.
I don't remember much, but I remember he called me the dick whisperer, so it must not have been all bad.
Damn victory sex feels great
Shes yelled my World of Warcraft name when we were having sex, I think marriage is next.
Well, if I’m not getting dick or sleep then I’m not interested.
Other than the whole stab wound in my leg thing, today was pretty good. The nurses all loved me and gave me a sandwich and juice.
I have bruises everywhere an I broke the lamp. So ya I'd considerate rough sex.
Randomize
