bathroom sex at kohls isnt as trashy as it seems
so i used to love airports for the escalators... now its the bars... then the escalators after the bars
he convinced the breakfast vendor to melt twix bars on bacon for me at 4am. he slurred every word. i think i found my prince charming.
No she hasen't showed up to my place yet, last I heard she was puking as she was walking without stopping near the park.
We're playing fucking games. GAMES. THIS IS BULL SHIT. IM GOING TO THROW UP ON THE BABIES AND LEAVE.
Hardly remember what he looks like and the man has seen me passed out spread eagle. I begin this journey with such a disadvantage.
just saw someone climb out of the dumpster at cvs and start walking down the street like it was completely normal
Also, I think I'm too drunk to be at the gym right now. But how sober do you need to be for IM volleyball?
Congratulations on your downgrade, shes one hell of a 5
I HAVENT SEEN A PENIS IN 5 WEEKS I REFUSE TO REMAIN CALM
I need to calm my uterus...
you face planting the wall was epic
did you at least save my tooth
Cat needed to get out last night. Walking to the door was too much effort so I encouraged (pushed) him to leave via window.
Isn't your room on the second floor?
I was so drunk I asked my mom if she had always been my mom or if it was someone else for a while
Family acid trip. They're welcoming me into the family.
What. The. Fuck.
Family acid trip.
Randomize
