the fair has chocolate covered bacon...impossible is nothing.
i just watched a special on porn, the business isn't doing so good. You may want to wait before you start your career
I do not want to touch your penis after this conversation.
I only broke up with her because the ex sex is amazing. She will do ANYTHING if i even hint at getting back together
I knew she was going to get knocked up just by looking at her facebook pics
You said that you were drinking out of a pan, and then went on to apologise to 'Jesus and all the other guys' for drinking on a Sunday.
Can we skip lunch and do power hour sex time from now on? I'll let you eat nachos off my body if you really need the food.
And now thanks to shrooms we all got a terrifying glimpse of what goes on in his head. I will not say I didn't see it coming when it turns out he made a suit out of people's skin
You paid at the door and they gave you a straw for the kiddie pool full of booze.
After a bit there were two girls who got naked and liquor wrestled. I don't think it was planned.
I'm wearing a cape at the laundromat. I really can't say shit
Not saying puking on the side of a cab was how I imagined freshman year of med school but...
You have 4 bottles of kahlua in ur drawers but no sox
Jk probs not coming. Tequila
He literally just laid flat on top of me motionless at one point. It felt less like foreplay and more like he was trying to use me as a flotation device. 0/10
I really need to get a comfy set of masturbating shoes
Randomize
