p.s. this guy just tipped me with ecstasy pills. is this real life
I'm twenty-five. I'm too old to be watching my friend throw up in Chipolte Parking lot.
It hit me after I slept with his best friends and brother, that maybe I took it a bit far
Just threw up in the garbage can outside the liquor store... I'm pretty sure that's some sort of distress signal.
i know this sounds kinda weird but his cock smelled like fabric softener. it was so refreshing.
I HAVE A BLACK EYE FROM A DILDO!! IM GETTING MARRIED TOMORROW! THIS IS NOT A MISSUNDERSTANDING!
The video of him doing the dougie made me telling him I didn't want a relationship, just his virginity so much easier.
One day, tell me please to stop buying shots when I'm overwhelmed. I might have just broken a tooth
It's def pee. WHY DO I PEE ON THINGS WHEN I DRINK TEQUILA
WHY ARE THERE SO MANY BURPS IN MY SMALL, INCREDIBLY ATTRACTIVE BODY
It's important to establish I slept with her BEFORE we officially became cousins-in-law.
if he ever tells me he loves me when we are sober, i am a goner. just fyi.
He is a beautiful butterfly covered in tattoos and naked.
My vagina just clenched in fear
Turns out tits aren't quite as effective an enticement when they know for a fact that they can't touch.
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