i was just outside smoking and i saw a hooker sing "i wish i knew who your daddy was" to her new born baby. someone explain to me why i ever left chicago to go to college...
spell your last name, im trying to find you on facebook
I'm in that akward stage between jailbait and cougar
Tonight we are playing Scuba-Keg. Getting keg now. I'll explain when i get home.
Im officially canceling McCormick Monday. I got a raise.
Sooo grey goose Tuesday?????
Would it be inappropriate to do a science fair project on whether the type of drunk a person is is determined by nature or nurture
dude you're not even a fucking science major
Masturbated before I came into work and now the finger scanner won't clock me in. Fuck Valentines Day.
Wednesday is good, I needed the head count for the orgy, caroling can happen with as few as 2 people. There will be a pinata.
For the caroling or the orgy?
I'm not sure what exactly you were planning, but you kept yelling that we were going to need a lot of midgets and a lawyer.
we could do so many fantastic illegal things together. sexually and otherwise.
I was gonna turn him down, but he correctly identified a song from Pocahontas.
I planned to shave today but it's Friday the 13th I might cut something
Can we just agree for a moment that semen in your sinuses is the fucking worst?
We bird danced in front of the bird cages for 20 minutes. I think it was our way of being like fuck you guys you're in a cage and we're on summer break.
You don't make any sense
TEQUILA
Randomize
