I don't remember her name, but I do remember yelling at her from the balcony of the hotel room during her walk of shame.
Heading to the gym, the one that guy said he goes to. Already checked online, his class is at 5. And no, this isn't too much after meeting him last night. Stop judging me,
Dude just slipped a $20 into the jukebox at that restaurant we were escorted out of last Mardi GRAS. Hope they enjoy Justin Bieber's Baby cause they're gonna hear it 40 fucking times.
She just broke down showed up grabbed a beer said fuck it pulled off her fake eyelashes looked at my roommate and said we need to break up you're a nice guy and I'm a whore
No, the responsible one does not yell out "lets go to iHop" at 5 in the morning to a bunch of drunk people with munchies.
Ok. So let me get this straight. She treats her vagina like a clown car, yet judges me for just making out with the guy that bought all of us shots?
Pants off. Spirits lifted.
I found pix on her phone of me passed out and her sticking things up my ass. Its over.
There's a man with a stuffed dog and a can of dog food on the L. Should I break it to him?
Best not to. Some people need their delusions.
They are going to name an STD after you.
I want to bone him until his eyes fall out
I just woke up drenched in beer, in a puddle of beer, and cuddling a bottle of tequila
We were so amazed while watching mission impossible ghost protocol last night we didn't even have sex
Jello shots? I thought you weren't drinking tonight.
Im not drinking im slurping
Your dick. My mouth. We have 20 minutes.
Randomize
