people will do anything to get on MTV. like get pregnant.
: am i supposed to send the mass text 'merry christmas!' to my booty calls too?
Could someone please kill snooki before she contributes to the gene pool.
Not even close. I woke up in the bed of Codys truck. Wrapped up in a sleeping bed, using a stuffed alligator as a pillow. And Alex was laying naked beside me. Not to mention I wasn't wearing the clothes I got there in.
He said he wants to make an itinerary for the sex we'll have when I come home.
just fucked two guys in less than 12 hours. i miss this part of being single.
and by single i mean slutty
The dingo escaped by eating a hole through my screen door. It's loose in the city somewhere.
You need to tell him your pregnant or we need to stop playing doubles beer-pong. My liver is begging you.
the mechanics of walkigng feel weird right now everyone lools like a demon
what does alcohol mean
Finally hooked up w/ that yoga instructor chick. Got a little more than I expected. Like a full on bush more than I expected. How do you tell a girl that her bush scares you?
rigging a system to keep my jello shots cold in class. important election day work.
Just skate-of-shamed, shirtless, with a bucket or margaritas. Good luck beating that one.
You're not horrible. Thank you for my pandas.
As soon as he called me 'darling' in that Scottish accent... my pants just dropped.
Is it acceptable to bring pot to a funeral or am I going to have to do this shit sober?
Randomize
