ps i may or may not be wearing a sequined bra
I just got my poem back from the prof, there's a sticker of a girraffe on it and it says "you're awesome!" ... How can this even be considered real college?!?
Swear. I think after passing out in a community college parking lot I can safely nominate myself for the piece of shit of the year award
I wish I could save this moment forever and have sex with it regularly. Its just tht beautiful.
I thought monday through wednesday was a YOLO free zone.
You can't play that off as role play thing. You held my hips and kept yelling "put a baby in me!" That shit ain't cool.
I masturbated to my balding thirty-something co-worker last night. I am a new level of lonely.
I still can't get the taste of her nipples and the udon noodles out of my mouth
We smoked a blunt in a stall where a drag queen was fucking a bartender in the ass. So theres gonna be a second date :)
looked up people from my old yearbooks. 3 ex boyfriends are gay. im getting drunk now.
This love triangle bullshit is getting out of hand. It's now a love polygon and I want out
He was playing minecraft so I took a shower with my vibrator
If you send me one more .gif of that fumble, I will make the 10 hour drive just to set you on fire.
I wonder if Paul and Andy realize how lucky that they are that we're too lazy to start fucking other dudes so we just stick with them
Little does she know that you've out-sourced your conscience to a girl who doesn't even wear pants on a regular basis
Randomize
