You stuck the head of a rubber chicken you found in her house up your ass and then started running around her living room. Naked.
even if everyone didnt know them screaming eskimo brothers and high fiveing over my head kinda gave it away
Would it help you get over me if I told you that I had unprotected sex last night?
We talked about all of the sex positions that would better allow him to feed me grapes. I think I'm in love.
Will you come get her? She's trying to get the pizza guy into the bathtub.
So many stories. To uyou are sober. I heart you though. Jesus. Dirrty dancing jusyt came oine!!no. Lie.
You high fived me for banging your sister but lock me outta house bc I ate your pumpkin pie? Priorities bro
After he convinced me that my friend had died and come back to life, I decided I was having sex with him that night, and that I should lay off the drugs for a while.
I stole an ensure out of their fridge and started chugging it. That was when Maria made me leave.
He just turned 21, it's very obvious the end of their relationship is near. Now we play the waiting game.
Today, my weed came in a pokéball. I officially love my dealer.
That falls under the "unwelcome penises" category. Also that's definitely a sentence I never thought I would say
We turned his nipples into a drinking game.
she brought her phone charger to the bar this bitch is ready to drink
..and by hang out i don't mean fucking then going back home i mean let's get something to eat & watch a movie and fuck sometime in between.
Randomize
