Is it weird i consider You Sexy Thing our song?
You just kept saying over and over "Tell me I won't do it." Someone finally told you you won't. You did. Welcome to herpes.
You told me alcohol would be the death of you then ordered 10 shots of tequila.
We're going to play a drinking game. It's called "Senior Year of College."
I'm handcuffed to the toilet. Don't ask
He shaved off his eyebrows. This is not my life.
If we ever start off with margaritas for breakfast and end up naked covered in olive oil...I could think of worse ways to spend a day.
Spending 4 hours in the emergency room today tells me that your birthday party was a success.
Who needs sounds of the ocean? I just fall asleep to whatever chubby he is banging next door.
Lmfao a voicemail screaming about you partying with your tits out and a text at 3 am saying you went too crazy... this should be a good one
Not sure when or why this happened but I just stopped giving a shit about everything
He literally just laid flat on top of me motionless at one point. It felt less like foreplay and more like he was trying to use me as a flotation device. 0/10
I mean, you've had my nipples in your mouth now, so I think we've reached a certain level of friendship.
We will discuss everything tomorrow i presume. Including the sweaty naked tango.
I'm going to go ahead and refrain from sexting you in an airport that is currently at a "level orange" security threat.
Randomize
