Her name starts with A and ends with whore.
since when did accompanying a guy to a wedding mean that anal was required that night?
yeah my parents were only ten feet away and we somehow managed to do it in five different positions without them noticing
if im not pregnant im gonna be so pissed for spending the money from my weed fund on the test
wow, a mother in the making
As a matter of fact you told me i fulfilled your "woodshop teacher fantasy"
Nope. If I'm going to drive an hour to fuck a teacher, it will NOT be missionary thats for damn sure.
My sister was not impressed when she got here. I was standing in the doorway in my underwear drinking a beer. At 2pm. On a Monday.
I don't always steal things but when i do it is a six foot five dos equis guy
i think smoking weed in a ladies bathroom on the beach with two dudes might be the shadiest thing ive done in a while
Other than my penis smelling like an ashtray, it went really well.
Come on kid, foreplay is elementary stuff. It's a vagina, not a sphinx.
WHAT IS MY LIFE THAT THE ONLY PERSON INTERESTED IN FUCKING ME IS MY 6TH GRADE MATH TEACHER
I’m 95% positive I adopted a bunny last night.
You had cocktails, didn’t you?
ALL I WANT IN MY MOUTH IS A GLORIOUS COCK SMOTHERED IN CHOCOLATE. DICK AND CHOCOLATE; IS IT TOO MUCH FOR A GIRL TO ASK FOR?!
On the plus side, he ate me out and gave me an orgasm. But he also talked about robots during sex and mispronounced it like the dad in the goldbergs and called them “robits”
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