Dude I just picked up a married chick while her husband was playing pool.
What do you mean you picked her up? How are you gonna leave the bar?
I didn't. I fucked her in the men's room. Come get me before he finds out.
pretty sure i remember announcing that i lost my virginity to that brad paisley song when it came on during power hour?
I would give my right arm to go back to college. Or maybe not. Would be kinda hard to pick up guys with one arm. Then again, knowin what I do now...I could take any freshman bithc with only one arm.
Hooked up with my first aid and cpr teacher last night. She dressed as a lifeguard and brought me back to life. Beat that.
Clearly I made an impression.
Or at least your vagina did.
I drank mimosas and played bocce ball in the middle of finals week...now i know how Comm majors feel all the time.
I drank myself into bisexuality again.
wearing my roomate's scarf as a dress...halloween 2011 ladies and gentlemen
Realized it was likely to be cursed, didn't want my own Johnson magically turning into some sort of fire breathing reptile and eating me
That is an interesting fear as well as image
Had sex with the Irish bartender in Spain. So that happened.
Well I just put wine in my tea
I'm going to be drunk and braless all weekend. Let the festivities begin!
I've literally NEVER been on a date or gotten through one episode of netflix without having sex like I JUST WANT TO WATCH TRUE DETECTIVE
Dude. He almost took three different girls home, all while dressed up as Amy Winehouse. If he goes as Kurt Cobain next weekend, we're screwed.
We woke up on vday and got high and played frisbee in our living room for a couple hours and then had sex. It was probably the most romantic valentine's day i've ever had
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