if i had a camp nickname it would be Flick Bean
Tell her to not eat the pizza she threw up on.
She tied me up with her honor cords...
How fortunate humanity is that it need not rely on the female orgasm for procreation
1 in 5 deaths i nrussia is alcohol related. GO MOTHERLAND
It probably isn't a good idea to go home with last night's hookup's brother. And sister.
Probably is probably an understatement.
He fucked me so hard I had an asthma attack. I'm like the sickly poster child for celibacy.
I've officially done it all, fucked a girl wearing a twister board. ABC parties are amazing!
I'd recommend you leave that level of crazy to the experts. I'd start with an under appreciated soccer mom if I were you.
I can always see lesbian subplot. It's my hero ability.
I'm gonna take a crap in the portashitter like a civilized human being.
I actually had to apologize for "being too aggressive about harry potter"
I danced with a french guy who licked the sweat off my neck and poured a drink on me. Not gonna lie, that shit was refreshing
I woke up this morning to my panties draped around the neck of an empty bottle of bulleit. That is the perfect visual metaphor for my life at this juncture.
i've hit rock bottom. Eating pringles and playing taylor swift on guitar in my underwear at 11am on a wedensday morning. Sober.
Randomize
