I was in a gas station that sold tazers and I just saw a billboard that said "Strippers, need we say more?" God I love Georgia!
no more hot dogs for you........
fine no more vajj for you
thats it. im googling how to make you boobs smaller. this is getting out of control.
its good she wears the same dress to all the weddings so we can track how fat she's really gotten
so glad i banged her when she was skinny
heading to class now, facing the weekend consquences
Used a cardboard box as a pillow and a towel as a blanket. Its like the great depression over here
Getting business cards printed for tonight. Would you rather be: 1. Vice President of Argentina 2. Celebrity Dental Assistant or 3. Dial-Up Internet Technician
3. Dial-Up Internet Technician.
I never thought the first time a taser would be used on me would be at an applebees
Math equation of the day: 4 waffles + 1 bowl of weed = 1 terrific nap
She called me her guardian angel after I picked her phone up from the river of pee coming from her front porch.
As pissed as she was, you would've thought I was trying to get back into his pants instead of his booze collection.
he just cleaned his wound with pinnacle whipped
Do you ever look at someone's Snapchat story and think ‘you told me you would eat my ass’?
is that a dick in a sweater?
Regardless I WANT TO BE YOUR SEX DISPENSARY. that is like the career I was born for.
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