I wonder what gingers are like in bed...as awkward as their hair or just as unique as it...?
I think I ruined Robin and Mikes anniversary. I walked in on them fucking, accidentally broke the necklace he gave her, and I stole the keg from their party. Not in that order
If a "boob" guy and an "ass" guy are discussing which you are better qualified for....just let them
After blacking out and loosing my phone for a month, I found it in the parking lot across the street. Last text "rager in the street". I remember none of this.
No Robbie is the name of a kid or dog, not an adult man who's fucking you.
Stop trying to get a gf and raw dog some forest beasts like sasquatch
I feel that it is my duty to the human race to invent a colon squeegy
Doing 9 month old dishes in my bath tub. These dishes literally had enough time to gestate a human child
Let's have sex in an apple orchard
I wrote "fuck you meg" on my toaster strudel with the icing. I call it "passive aggressive breakfast"
I'm really proud of my unchallenged ability to convert boob guys into ass men
If my vagina were a person, it just ran a marathon.
There is this guy in here. He didn't even get ice cream he just filled up his cup with mini marshmellows, chocolate syrup, about a lb of grahm cracker crumbs and walked around to everyone in the shop saying "hey, hey look here, I just made fucking s'mores." He was SO proud of himself.
did you call me last night and say you were being kidnapped?
Is it too early to start looking for freshmen penises to corrupt with our liquor and yoga pants?
I was just wondering the same thing! Gotta be any day now
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