I think im in love with that girl with the googlie eyes last night. She was looking in my eyes and at my dick at the same time. we are going out again tonight.
Dating a girl 4 years younger than you is like living in a Taylor Swift song...
can we take a shower together?
no need for the romantic shit. I'm a sure thing
I would say a second date is not looking likely, I acciedentally bit his penis. it's still bleeding 43 minutes later.
Just walk-of-shame'd past fifteen little girls at summer camp. Take a good look girls, I am you in twelve years.
Wednesdays are like the thursdays of tuesdays... Drink time
that was after you ironed the burrito. didn't leave much cheese on the ironing board though
You've had your dick in my mouth. I don't think there are all that many barriers in our friendship at this point.
Just hooked up with the fireman who put out the quesadilla fiasco last tuesday.
You had one beer and one beer can full of vodka and you took a huge gulp of one of them and called it Emily Roulette
When everyone ask you tomorrow go ahead and tell them I'm the girl that fell of safe ride and was all bloody.
We've been staking out a taco bell for 2 hours trying to find last night's one night stand
STOP HOOKING UP WITH SOCCER MOMS! YOU ARE RUINING MY REPUTATION!
She said she was sober from drugs for a week. All I heard was Kenny Loggins singing Danger Zone.
Can you please come in my room and pour water in my mouth? Too hungover to move. btw who is this guy in my bed? Can't see his face. Cute?
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