at some point when you're making out with the ex girlfriend of your ex fuck buddy who happens to be the ex boyfriend of the girl that you just got drunk with who was hitting on your current fuck buddy who is best friends with your ex boyfriend, it just hits you: oh my god i need to get out more and expand my social circle.
well i was about to unbutton his pants but then i realized they had an elastic waste-band, so no, that didnt happen
she gave up head for lent, but she said sex was still fair game
giving him head while hes talking to his fiancee on the phone about inviting me to their wedding.... im invited. should i go or would that be wrong?
Double vision is so hot when a big dick is in sight. Thank you Bud Light.
You'd think somebody who rolls blunts like jesus himself could roll a god damn burrito
Dude I'm about to just roll over and piss off the side of my bed, rather than make the conscious effort to get up and walk to the bathroom. One of those hangovers.
we were sitting in the kitchen and you kept biting my shoulder saying "itll all be over soon"
somehow I feel like "adventures with cocaine and molly" wouldn't be an appropriate "How I Spent My Spring Break" essay topic.
If there is a ladylike way to throw up in your favorite toilet, I just did it.
You know that gay bartender? Not as gay as we thought.....
Perfect. I'll put on my party clothes and write emergency numbers on my arm
Is it weird that I was turned on when he told me he had a vasectomy?
I knew you two would hit it off
As in, legitimately worried. You just sent me a 6 message long text that did not contain any complete words.
Sharted again. Stuck in traffic. Fuck
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