just saw ex-bf. should he be more embarrassed to be a college dropout working at rite aid or should i be because i was buying newports and rembrant?
tie
Just took my morning after pill in the library
why did you let me tell everyone that you can get herpes from the ice luge and then let me do the ice luge?
I'm just going to say , cocktail races are not for a Wednesday night maybe not even a Friday type of deal
The bed I'm sleeping in has a headboard only handcuffs could love. I'm gonna pick up a local dude and wreck that.
ecstacy + fleshlight = not all that upset about being newly single anymore
I distinctly remember calling the anesthesiologist a "sneaky little bastard" directly to his face
who's job is it to make sure we don't run out of tp since the incident of 09'... Thats right you go get some
Mimosa dick, like his cousin Whiskey dick, is just as ineffective but a lot more fun to be around
We kinda got asked to leave the strip club and on the way out, you fell again. When you finally got up we got a standing ovation from the girls behind the bar and you took a bow. It was awesome.
Forever getting my life back together in gas station bathrooms.
Funny you say that, I just sold my stripper pole to my mom tonight...
Acid king. Jackson puked a lot. Promoter booth. Angry security. No acid. Probably a good thing.
where are my pants?
in the oven.
When you called me I said did you make it home. You said yeah. Then you said you didn't know where you were. I said you were at home and you said but where. I said you are in the bathroom. Then you said oh, you're so smart lol
Randomize
