So how did finding that girl you know on GGW go?
I was so pissed when it just previews her all covered up. It would have been easier to just have sex with her
Yeah but then you would have a case of genitals gone wild
Your mouth is God's brothel.
i wish my apartment had room service that i didn't have to pay for.
You text me last night that you invented a new food. Cheese-less grilled cheese. Congrats, you made toast.
If you're still awake, how rude would it be if I masturbated in her new apartment on moving day? If you're asleep, then ask me how it was.
I feel like shaving is just admitting i'm gonna do him, even though im still on the fence
shave. it'll take 10 min. Better safe than hairy.
I just had some guy offer to eat me out on my lunch break... I think single life is getting better everyday
She had forties taped to her hands and was trying to give him a hand job while he was passed out, with everyone in the living room.
I'm venturing to your corner of this sin house in t minus 2 minutes.
You fucked him. I baby bird fed him whiskey . I feel like we've bonded.
I WILL NOURISH YOU WITH SOUP AND PENIS!!!!!! And a sandwich of your choosing.......you like turkey?
Mixing coffee with vodka may have been a bad choice, I feel like I'm pregnant and the baby is trying to perform a c-section from the inside.
Heard you had a bad day. I have vodka, chocolate and my dick here ready to put a smile back on your face.
Oh god...Did I just fuck a sugar granddaddy?!
Remember those two guys in our frat that would no homo everything? I just got an invitation to their wedding.
Randomize
