yeah but I shoulda known it\'d be bad when he start rubbing my pubic bone instead of the clit! Awkkkkwarddd
New drinking game: drink every time the guy whose room we are in is creepy
enjoy the hospital
i was texting myself key events from last night so i could remember this morning. looked at my phone, texted my mother instead. our numbers differ by 1 digit
I was about to watch some really classy porn. Title was ravenous for dick. I didnt know pornstars knew ravenous was a word.
I convinced a girl to do a shot of salsa someone fell through the whole on the porch and Sara swallowed a beer tab
Just because you're using the Hipstamatic app for your nude photo taking, it doesn't make your drunken blowjob pics any classier.
Drunk versus high capture the flag: what team is everybody gonna be on?
Even though he was watching you pee on his bedroom floor, you kept denying it and saying he was dreaming
The woman that sang I Touch Myself died today. There's only one appropriate way to honor her memory.
I'm on the job.
Simultaneously sexting while making brunch plans. Multitasking at its gayest.
He went to 7/11 first and came back with condoms and a banana "in case we get hungry"
She was giving me head, and a cop pulled up next to us. I freaked when he looked over at me, but so did he and rear ended the car in front of him.
My ex-wife, who I haven't heard from since the divorce, just Amazoned me cherry flavored massage oil and a rainbow caps with the message "Happy Pride". What's the polite response?
It's difficult to focus on bonds when you know your classmate peed in your mouth
Can you recommend a quality dick? I haven’t had a good sexing in a while
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