I just peed or puked all or around my parjibgb lot.
parking. I am not drunk
I think he thought he was a gentleman because he bought me the most expensive plan b at cvs
Why is everyone in the bowling alley looking at me like i'm a prostitute just because I have bunny ears on?
In the middle of getting a blow job, she looked up at me and said "this isn't the first time I've done this today"
No. I do not want to discuss your lesbian tendencies with my sister.
She still started it.
the only good thing about breaking up with him while naked was that i got to make a forgetting sarah marshall reference
My clothes are covered in blood and I feel like I drank a gallon of elephant cum...it's safe to say I'm hungover
I would have publicly shamed him but I'm pretty sure his tramp stamp did that on its own...
He fed us edamame like baby birds. Slowly all coming back to me.
But now he's gone and I'm exhausted and my vagina is yelling at me and I want a cheeseburger
he pissed the bed, like I literally woke up and he was pissing right beside me. With the electric blanket he's lucky he didn't get electrocuted
Would you consider masturbating to Hocus Pocus an adulthood high or low?
Can you masturbate to someone liking your instagram picture?
Went home last night with that hot British guy. Sounded like I was f-ing in a Harry Potter movie.
Wandering around the streets of Baltimore at two in the afternoon. Just offered a job as a stripper. Think I should accept?
Try an internship first, see if you enjoy it.
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