After last night I still want u
But please keep that on the DL
i told him im from Canada, abortion is free
Olympics start in one day, that gives us 24hrs to think of gold medal worthy drinking games
I come up with the best drinking games while babysitting
He was a bulldog and my face was like rare meat. Never again with the drunken ones.
Just bought a McDouble with a tightly rolled dollar. The lady just gave me a sad face...
Can you explain to me how i got kicked out of a bar last night, from outside the bar?
My car smells like beer, you're here in spirit
I think my body is a cloud. This mixture of things is heavenly. Dare was wrong, drugs are awesome.
Just got high and apologized to my vagina for getting chlamydia
Woke up on the couch with one cowboy boot on and a hat over my crotch. God bless texas.
No judgement. Sometimes you gotta twerk on a legends face.
I stopped him mid keg stand to show him how cute my bra was...
Hey also tomorrow casually bring up wearing crocs to your sister's wedding
did you just try to prove your straightness by quoting a lady gaga song?
Randomize
