He was banging holes in the kitchen wall with pots. They tried to pull him away but only managed to pants him. He kept "drumming".
There are beer cans & oyster shells along the side of the road. I belong here
It's only 11:30 and she's already making friends with the homeless...
The salesman looked at me like I was crazy when I explained the need for a headboard that had slats so I could handcuff people to it
I'm really stoned in my underwear. I probably won't make it to the bar.
An we can hold bottles of vodka in our hands singing yo ho a pirates life for me
I miss you, too. It's hard to sleep without anything licking my head.
I smelled him yesterday and almost relapsed he's like cocaine
Everytime I try to keep track of the amount of people I slept with I always forget about that guy I met on the dc metro, where I woke up to him organizing his Special K and Molly and I was covered in sleeping cats.
I didn't know how wild the party was going to be until one girl brought her pet raccoon
No he reached for my hand at the beach. I pretended to be a seagull.
Are you okay? You're not sitting at home on facebook. I'm worried about you.
You're going to love the baby's room.
I doubt it. I can't have sex there anymore. That severely limits the appeal of the room to me.
You hear the wildest shit in a Walmart bathroom.
Optimism doesn't exist before 2pm nor do any other emotions.
Randomize