Internet sex stories have completely ruined the word sopping for me.
Your sister reminds me of me at her age. Stop her while you can.
I walked into my room to see them crying, watching hey arnold, and passing a franzia box back and forth...
My clit ring got caught in his beard. Never. Again.
If I had that in my pants Omg I would want a shirt made so everyone knew
I got dressed on his front steps, peed on his neighbors lawn, then did a shoeless walk of shame home at 5am...
Also, I pretty much need an IV of fluids straight to my soul
literally just tried sending to someone a video of me jerkin but my phone was connected to Apple TV and it literally just played on the tv in a full room and I'm actually about to shit myself
You wear a dinosaur suit one time and everyone thinks you're a furry. Fucking hell, man.
I just want my kids to know I fucked some really hot dudes before their father.
You're going to scar your kids
And two different second-graders said my make up was pretty. It's left over from last night bc I woke up 5 min before I was supposed to leave.
I wanted to say "you're a souless cunt" but in a nice way. So I added a smiley face.
Fuck the library it's too quiet and makes me uneasy. I feel like I'm so isolated I should take off my pants or something
Honey...this isn't my 20's. This is my 30's. I paid for this house and these expensive ass sheets to fuck in them. Get your ass over here.
Dear Andy-the problem is not that I slept with your girlfriend, it's that you didn't know she's a lesbian.
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