omg this kid i'm babysitting is making a penis out of playdough ahhhh.
He just rolled me a 'baby penis' as opposed to his 'big boy' penis that he crafted...he just demanded that I roll him a penis.
I just found a porn show called cleavagefield. no i am not watching.
I have before 2 am pics and after 2am pics, which do you want to see first?
she gave him a mild concussion from throwing him against the wall in an attempt to dance with him. gotta love monday nights at the sandbar.
I should just wear a shirt that says "Im Sorry" on the front because the second we land in Vegas, I'm going to be a fuckin trainwreck.
so far we have 6 big wheels and 10 boxes of wine for the tour de franzia. team drunkslut is favored to win the yellow jersey.
For looking exactly like her, she tasted less like her sister than I would've thought
Too much alcohol and too many lesbians. I can officially say I have regrets now. At least that's something.
This is irresponsible on your part, leaving me alone in a bar.
My dad wants to dress like mitt Romney tomorrow night and tell trick or treaters they owe him candy.
If we could give a gymnastic score to drunken nights, I would be a part of the Fab Five.
It's one am and you're asking me if you should buy a plane ticket for a booty call.
summer in europe = liver of steel
I accept that challenge.
WTF ARE YOU DOING IT'S FUCKING VEGAN COFFEE IT'S MADE WITH NUT MILK YOU'RE NOT A FUCKING SQUIRREL.
Well, I like big penises but it's not like he walks around with it out or anything so yes I think he has beautiful eyes
Randomize
