I considered driving home in his mom's bathrobe until i realized i'd have to stop to buy cigarettes
it's a well known fact that sluts are attracted to bright colors
american apparel?
try lime green
So the guy sitting next to me is watching dungeons and dragons on youtube. I didnt realize you could get more pathetic than actually playing the game.
I told you I was good to drive
dumbass I drove... you sat in the passengers seat and steered with a paper plate
I bought this skirt with every intention to have it wrapped around my tits by the end of the night. So, I'm not a whore. I'm a self-fulfilling prophecy.
He wants to make love to me in a sea of paint and wash my tears away with the brushes surrounding us..I've known him for 2 days.
Mission get my tooth back and find a new dick to ride starts after i sleep for the first time in 2 days.
DO IT, or I'll send you pictures of my hickey to remind you of your loneliness
He broke up with me over the phone while I was getting my bush waxed into a "D" for his surprise birthday present. Talk about bad timing...
If I was 5 years younger and single...
She STILL wouldn't fuck you.
I CAN'T FUCK HIM OUTSIDE. THAT'S FOR PEASANTS. HE'S TOO FAMOUS FOR THAT.
"Like what guy would respond to 'let's fuck. I've got bagels'??"
Other than trying to finger me on the couch in the middle of the bar a few times, you were fine.
I feel as though my head has drastically changed shape
All i want from a relationship is to get drunk watch pirates of the Caribbean and have sex
Randomize
