i either just vomited on a lesbian or a small boy
we're talking about where were going. or where we stand. but yeah we'll basically be doing it in the hallway so just ignore us
I just came to the conclusion that the most depressing part of my day is when I have to put clothes on.
there was already a condom in her . . and it was bigger than me
The sun is out and the snow is finally starting to melt here... Vodka bottles keep popping up everywhere. Guess it's the college version of burying nuts for the winter
When She took off her bra.... A tube of lipgloss, her phone, I.D. And a wad of twenties fell out.... I'm officially no longer a butt man
If I had to give her an idea on what it means to be ur date I would compare it to being Ralph macchio's gf in the first karate kid... That's one of the coolest things I've ever said... I love drugs.
I hope it's socially acceptable to wear a mesh one piece into last call tonight?
who dressed up as a cop at your party???
idk I have to check. Why?
he gave me the best strip search of my life. FIND HIM.
I'm naked, I'm drunk, and I'm all up on social media right now
Hung out near hay bales in sweaters then she gave me a pumpkin spice pop rocks bj. That was so freakin' seasonal.
I thought we agreed to no sexting at the school bake sale...
I just told my mormon professor that I was late because I was getting a STD test... good start to the day.
You hear the wildest shit in a Walmart bathroom.
Fuck this pandemic. She grabbed the hand sanitizer instead of the hand lotion while giving me a hand job and now my dick is burning and scrotum are on fire
A hand job? Are you 12?
Randomize