Apparently I think casual Friday means I can show up unshaven in yesterday's clothes and reeking of booze.
it wasnt like "sexy" or whatever. like...she was smiling just standing there butt ass naked
tasteful.
Just fucked in his moms tanning bed. While it was on. Weirdest. Tan. Ever.
How do I invite him to our 4th of July cookout without sounding too much like "hey you were my first orgasm and I want your dick inside my while watching fireworks"
So the coke mirror was perfectly angeled at my face right when i woke up this morning. I now know how I'd look on intervention.
i just declared my major based on how close the department building was to our apartment. laziness has been brought to a new level
Im down. Even tho your nick name intimidates my vagina.
Valentines day isn't about being a couple in love..... It's about chocolate and faking orgasms.
I'm watching a man in drag spread food products on his face my life is spiraling out of control.
He sent me a recycled dick pic! He could at least use one without sunlight in it, considering it's 10pm
Doing laundry. My jeans from last night smell like chicken wings and motor oil.
So, what my linguistics project should really be called is "I happen to sleep/makeout with a lot of bilinguals and am now using them to help me graduate"
what do you mean i can't make cookies with a blow dryer? challenge accepted.
I shit you not. Dude complemented me for being meme savvy. You could drown a toddler in my panties right now.
Listening to sad Lana Del Rey songs together is an integral part of the lesbian bonding process
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