Be sure to let me know if your relationship crumbles so I can resume hitting on you
dude skip the party. it is a fucking post office here
what the hell does that mean?
nothing good but a whole lotta male and packages
I hope, cuz I was gunna get "celebritory drunk" but now I have to get "I'm disappointed drunk"
This is the time you want your cat to have telepathy with you. To know if the guy downstairs left.
You were walking around with a baby carrier pretending your vodka was a baby. You tried to get pictures on santas lap
Its 10:23 on a monday morning and im craving jello shots, this is a problem
The last thing I remember is sitting in a chair and him hand feeding me bell peppers
Printed off fake 'Producer' Sundance badges for us. Pretty sure they double as free passes for getting laid by 'actresses'. Testing this theory tonight.
I was going to say I needed the exercise but now all I can think about is BJs
My work here is done
He literally named all the parts of the vagina as he fingered me. No more pre-med virgins.
It's kind of awesome I can smoke with my parents and tell them about thetime we used listerine in that bong
all i've had to eat today is leftover bday cake and a shot of tequila.
welcome to college.
If the sex wasn't incredible why would I compare it to cheesy tots
He was so high he started playing Twister on the striped rug. Then when we missed midnight he went on a screaming rampage about his New Year's Eve being meaningless. How do you think it went?
Hhhaaa He said Peanutburter disinfect lol. Like peanut butter can disinfect stuff. None of those guys are safe
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