I forgot how ruthlessly advertising works on me when I'm high.
She made a list of the things each of us had done wrong and assigned a point system. Guess who came out the loser?
ironically, his detergent was also "small and mighty"
We gave a starfish gin and Lucky Charms. I think it enjoyed it. Best trip to the beach ever.
Just got a hand job during Charlie St.cloud I honestly never thought Id thank Zac Efron fir one of his movies but thank you
I can't wait for the 4th. I'll probably get drunk and end up puking all over whichever 18 year old I end up making out with.
Three things I need a picture of: your friend, your bong, and your dick.
He said he only likes girls with a sense of humor, after he took his pants off I understood why
Uhh... I think I meant "Be proud, I'm taking shots before my public speaking test." "Coffee and vodka is not good" and "Also, I'm giving blood drunk."
17. The number of times my one night stand told me he loved me.
I miss forts and drugs that made me believe in unicorns...
lets start a news segment called WHY IS LEOS CROTCH BURNING TODAY
I can't wait to see you again. It will be like when we first started dating- but with less clothes.
My chance to home wreck was right in front of me and I didn’t grab it by the balls
I was about to break it off with him because I realised he only wanted me for sex, until I realised that I only wanted HIM for sex. Win/win
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