Soooo my gf got the droid and doesn't have BBM anymore, I think its over for her
the guy at the pet shop just had an eye seizure while looking at my chest
Some guy just watched me feed 30 dimes and 3 quarters for bread and cheese at the self checkout at walmart. I no longer comprehend shame...
Have $25 to my name but it's $2 pitchers. I have no choice but to go.
the higher we get, the more he looks like ray charles.
Escaped ambulance. Meet me at your apartment.
someone just sent me a bong wrapped in christmas paper in the mail. signed 'santa'.
I think im gonna bang this 35 year old at a kids birthday party in the bathroom at this house while the kids open the presents.
Im tired as fuck but i cant leave him here like this i gave him the acid and i feel the responsibillity to put his mind back together its fun im an architect about to about to construct a whole new belief and moral system inside this soul. Talk about the best psychothearpy
it was either a cry for help or you were gargling vodka. we didnt care either way.
Oh my god. He likes it up the butt. But loves womanly support. Omg. Its bad. Its bad. Ive had too much whiskey for this to be ANYthing except bad.
I'm about to initiate a game of drunk UNO.
Drunk UNO has officially been banned from now until forever.
theres chocolate ground into my couch, nerds candy all over the floor and cocaine on every surface. great memorial day weekend and yours?
there's fuck elsewhere to go, I'll be there with 8 lbs of bronzer on my tits
Not genetic. He's drunk and texted me a dick pic. Not genetic. Thank God!
Randomize