2 am we went back to his house. his mom handed us beers and cooked us pancakes. the next morning his dad had washed my car. i lied. living at home after college definitely does not suck.
been home a week and haven't blacked out yet. i miss college
he said the way to his heart was through his stomach, i told him if he wanted to eat my food he had to eat my kitty
smooth operator
So I wake up this morning with a bottle of dish detergent and a dildo. Good call on bringing those girls from community college.
And your hair- I'd make sure to pee on it first.
Those foam number one hands, are the BEST socks.
I've never seen a guy eye-fuck someone so hard in my entire life. I thought he would develop laser vision, bore holes into your body, and not even realize your innards would be spilling everywhere. That's how bad it was.
I'm making a quesadilla and including it in the picture because that's the only way I think I can send her dick pics.
Happy you have kids and I don't day!
God, please protect all woman from micro-penises
Like I blink, and he's face first in my vagina.
we're forecasting high levels of inebriation into the evening with dropping temperatures late at night
dude where did you go last night?
when the tequila says to run, you start running.
Also, my guy said they would be around. And i clarified that when I asked him for mushrooms he didn't hear "a mushroom or two" but rather understood I meant "all the mushrooms you can find between now and 4th of July."
Dude, someone puked in my washing machine last night, I tried turning it on to clean it...not a good idea
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