There was a pool of blood on my desk and we still don't know who it belongs to. missed a good party, man.
Woke up in 100% not my clothes this morning. Third time this month. Fuck. Tequila.
Worst part of St. Paddy's...me drunkenly crying to a U2 cover band.
you made your own hammock out of a towel and duct tape.
i just opened a seperate checking account to keep track of how much i make and spend on our keggers
Its that time of year where we just drink more instead of dressing warmer
This coming from the girl who broke up with a guy because she found out he played the tuba in middle school.
I'm so hungover I literally am considering drinking from the fishtank to avoid getting out of bed.
Who was the girl that woke me up at 4am to tell me "there's an emergency, we need you to come smoke weed"
Hey ask him if he likes swappy seconds
The last thing I remember was naked hot tub and taking a shot and using the hot tub water as a chaser. Not acceptable.
Nothing worse then being at the gym on the elliptical next to a guy looking at porn on his phone
How's dinner? Come here? You can bring your boyfriend if you're ok leaving without him
I don't care how hot she was, she wouldn't stop singing "Shut Up and Dance", instant boner-killer.
Dont be alarmed when you come homeand see a guy handcuffed to your bed. His name is james. Ill uncuff him when I get home
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