is that paris hilton dressed up as the guy from star trek who hosts reading rainbow
well that one time I was being a total idiot trying to see how much I could drink. turns out 22 shots is too much. surprise surprise! ambulance party!
I think a homeless person took a bath in my mouth while I was sleeping :(
This was all being yelled across a beer pong table as all important things should be discussed
Bring my lunch to work in liquor store bags is doing nothing for my career
I told him i wanted to be exclusively cheating with him
note to self: an IV pole is no substitute for a stripper pole. Written it on my ankle cast.
It's a bathroom floor kind of morning.
She looked at me and said "i like penises." and then passed out with her condom balloon animal in her hands.
I feel like ass. I'm missing 12 hours of my life and all I have to show for it is an empty wendys bag. Those Shrooms were too much... When do we do it again?
Nah its cool some of my cousins have fucked the same girls and brought them on family vacations and everything.
You have my approval. I will dance and throw skittles at your funeral.
lets talk about you, dubstep, and a bunny suit.
So one possible side effect of women taking Viagra is that my tongue feels swollen. You having any?
This drink tastes like mosquito repellent.
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