i'm saving my butt for my wedding night
You realize if you die tommorow, the last memory i'll ever have of you is your ballsack on skype
Only my sister would update her facebook status while going into labor.
Cleveland boys shit in their own pumpkins in their own living room. Got pictures to prove it.
I'm pretty sure I'm the first person in the history of this college to rollerblade their walk of shame.
Also was told that I was her "third favourite booty call" - I'm taking this a good thing right?
It's a podium place so yeah...
Nothing says happy gameday like waking up in only an ACC Championship shirt in the qb's bed with a different football player
You chest bumped everyone we walked by on the way home... Even girls
He put his name in my phone as David Hot Guy With Tattoos and I fell in love because that's what I was going to change his name to anyways
Nothing can teach you regret more efficiently than a wine hangover.
My vagina: 1 Male stubborness: 0
what could you have possibly accomplished by watching 6 hours of a mythbusters marathon
well, i added sex in a wind tunnel to my bucket list
We gotta locate my vibrators and get them stashed away STAT
I CAN'T FALL IN LOVE WITH SOMEONE WHO HAS A LISP. I JUST CAN'T.
You guys do the cocaine and I'll do the dishes.
Randomize
