I have to decide between the hot young blond with no apparent gag reflex, and the brunette with a great ass and a trust fund.
We're going on a mission for new porn. And ice cream.
yea and when she crawled to her room she yelled at a bookbag to "get the fuck out my way"
You were so drunk that some guy dressed as Harry Potter pointed his wand at you and screamed "Accio SHITSHOW"
Everything is bigger in Texas. Including Colt's vagina.
Facebook stalking a girl from Germany is harder then you think.you have to copy and paste all this shit into freetranslations.com then try and piece together an awkward sentence. If only I could put this energy into something productive.
I can'nr wwn explain this nihght . So amnt dixks. Shitttttt.
then he tried to tell me how many times he had seen Scott's dick. his estimate was about 180 times. he thought I didn't understand.
Hypothetical question: how bad would bacardi be as an IV drip?
death...100% death...what r u planning.
I hope I take a shit on your face in your dreams tonight.
The bald guy bought me a shot so I chugged it and then walked out to the middle of the dance floor and told an old woman that might be your moms twin to bend it over...We didn't end on a good note though. Dude she stepped on my vans.
she pointed to my dick and said you are going to save the world
I SWEAR TO GOD IF SHE FUCKS WITH OUR GOLD GENE POOL
So in my DUI class I had to write down 3 people I'd call if I needed to talk and why...they all want to meet you now...
The progression was banging a stripper banging an unemployed stripper banging a sexual entrepreneur quarantining with benefits totally fucking whipped. Get it right dude
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