Its like I was sleeping with a kid. His gum fell into my hair while sleeping and he just wanted to cuddle.
Contrary to what peaches says, you can't fuck the pain away. Full story later. Have a good morning, buddy.
If our dicks could shake hands in congratulations they would
This is no lauging matter. Huge cock equals great sex. Marriage to huge cock equals great life.
Im making gravy in a lace bra and jeans. Just call me the southwern wet dream
Was there a Canadian at your party or did I dream that?
this is terrible I feel like i'm trapped in a cage with a wild republican
I know everybody has skeletons in their closet but why are all of mine so slutty?
oh yeah, there may or may not be a large boa loose in the house when you get home.
Actually it's really just going to be me drunk in your living room swinging from a pole on a tuesday morning.
Its like a match made in avoid-eachother-because-we're-antisocial-and-awkward heaven
I have a corndog on my dresser and a trashcan of puke. Thanks for a great night!
I don't want to resort to having sex with people that actually like me.
Pregaming at Jodi's. Ten minutes
Thought it was at Brad's?
Pregaming the pregame. Need alcohol before I can see that dick.
I got so drunk last night that I was drunk in my dream. Good night
Randomize
