I just saw a girl play flip cup with only her tongue
I'm in love
Thanks for jumping on that grenade for me last night. You're the best wingman ever
She ate 7 of the 8 slices of pizza. I deserve a purple heart and sex w your sister
I have seen more male genitalia at this party tonight than I ever want to see again in my entire life.
I just googled if crying burns calories
I had a dream last night where I used the marginal product rule to figure out how much more hangover I got per sip of four loko, econ is taking over my life...
That edible kicked in right as I was upside-down on that rollercoaster. Fucking.mind.blown.
I have a to do list for the summer and thing one is figuring out my sexual orientation
Guess who just hooked up with a guy who was wearing a shirt from his mom's "dress up closet"?!
We did hand stuff while watching teenage mutant ninja turtles so I guess you could say it's getting serious
I don't think it's ever a good night if I'm this hung over and I didn't even get an orgasm out of the deal...
He ate me out while I finished season 1 of Stranger Things. If that's not a modern day relationship goal, then I don't know what is.
How do I explain to work that I woke up in my underwear on a trampoline and that I'm not coming in?
And you hate the library
Yea but I love drugs and my grades
We just fucked in the park on a bench and a guy with a dog walked past us and the dog walked right up to us while the guy stared at his phone.
I just shook glitter of my birth control packet so I’d say it’s safe to say it was a good weekend
Randomize
