I cant take that shot because i want my penis to stay hard.
My parents just checked my browsing history and now think I'm addicted to porn and am a necrophiliac. 1: I know it was you. 2: You're so dumped, that shit is sick.
I just watched a video of Justin Bieber kissing a girl..... the sad thing is that I actually got upset.
How much explanation does bbqsexapalooza need?
She's allergic to latex.
Lucky bastard.
So he thinks I sent him a picture of my boob last night, but it was really just a close up of my arm.
I tried douching with a turkey baster. Not the brightest idea.
I don't know which is a more impressive stolen object. The couch from a sheer logistical viewpoint, or the parking meter because i'm pretty sure that's a federal offence.
I mean it was like cry my eyes out or masturbate in my moms bathroom.
I'm stoned and just shared 4 cookies with this chicks dog
They're raisins though so they're healthy. No worries.
We had fun with our Indiana Jones role-playing until I whipped myself in the dick with my belt.
You're putting the star player on the bench. You dont put Michael Jordan on the bench.
Are you referring to my vagina as Michael Jordan?
last night on the strip the guy screamed at you YOU GOTTA WORK ON YOUR CALVES.
And then he dove into my vagina like scrooge mcduck into a room of gold
I'm not saying i'm drunk
But i'm drunk.
Randomize
