K I think ***** turned off her phone. Guess I can't make her feel any more miserable tonight so I'm goin to sleep
he thought i was a dude.
Ok so serious question: if one wanted to say the plural of mongoose, would it be mongooses or mongeese?
She wouldn't go home with me cause I forgot her name. I didn't realize it would matter after she danced with her vagina on my face
i like being sick. whatever the doctor gave me is awesone. the walls are waving at me. i never want to get better.
you can't wake me up at 4am to suck your dick and then give me a high five at the bar
July 5th AKA Day of regret AKA picnicing in a laundromat. Someone puked allover the comforter. Liffe of champions.
Is there a law against that?
Nope not at all. Just morals. But fuck it, this is college, not real life.
we're stoned watching those roller coaster simulators w our hands up screaming on our couch
Well he's a 33 year old furniture salesman that picked up at 19 year old buying a bedroom set for her room. I can see how that would be awkward
Its like I've been given a sexual blank check.
You start to question your party girl tendencies when you're wearing the same shirt you wore the night before to work and you're trying to get last nights Jell-O shot off the sleeve on your way to work
Quit giving me a hard time, whens the last time you got head every night? Cougars are where its at they dont play games
My theme for the night was drink diego drink! Unfortunately Dora was not there to navigate me to the bathroom
she was just meowing in the corner eating frozen chicken nuggets
Randomize
