I cont stop tolking in a british axsent
She left me a voicemail too. It's just her moaning her name repeatedly
hell no. last time, i couldn't pee straight for a week.
She kept chasing him yelling thief, because he drank some of her drink. That was at 8, it got worse.
You know what's soul crushing? Walking to subway and find out you were too drunk to put on shoes and being denied service.
Um. I literally have no words.
I think I just snorted head and shoulders by mistake.
I look like shit btw. Like the joker from Batman.
I'm not sure how that's possible unless you put on face paint. Which I would respect.
Body shots with my MILFs MILF!!
All I did was send my mom an ecard
I'm gonna buy my dress an hour before wedding. You know, just to make sure it's gonna really happen.
T'would be a shame to waste that open bar though. They shouldn't do that to us. We've been having to pretend we're happy for two people who got engaged a week after they met.
Yeah. I don't know. I'm just gonna show up at her place on valentines day with a jock strap, box of chocolates, and rose clenched between my ass cheeks with "be mine" written across my glorious man titties.
I don't have any plans for New Year's except watching anime and drinking until I can't read the subtitles anymore.
Overall a good night - broke my toe giving that cop a blowjob though...so there's that...
He showed me a picture of his family on Instagram and his dad was my Sugar Daddy. ABORT.
JB just got pulled over and I am in the trunk...... this isnt good
I’m going down on him like an Oompah Loompah on roller skates.
That makes no sense, but good luck
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