He's taking me to Burger King to celebrate losing my virginity..
You broke a cabinet. You were climbing up it and it collapsed on you. Lines were crossed.
We're trying to leave but amy's hitting on the guy who mans the nacho cart
I had her number in my wallet, I was sitting on a winning ticket for the blowjob lottery and didn't know
Can we just ponder our lives for a second.
No I think my brain may implode in a puff of cocaine and sparkles.
I may or may not have just ruined a marriage. But in my defense I got all my drinks for free tonight.
hey the jello shots wont freeze
How much Everclear did you put in them?
uhhh all of it
Whoa, I am aware of WAY too many squirrels right now...
Oh and someone pissed in my shoes, so I'll let you figure that out.
I don't care how hungry or impatient you are. the highest setting on the microwave is 100% and you better not take it appart to add power. This is not the Enterprise.
Sex and compliments. The way to my heart
The box said 94% effective prevention of pregnancy if used correctly but God knows Iβm not gonna use it right so letβs adjust that to like a 70%
there is a tent in the living room. its a vip tent room. i want in.
He updated Facebook... "Got a new phone today." WHAT ABOUT THE FUCKING KID YOU HAD?!
I was supposed to see Marcus tonight and he cancelled. Listen, I shaved my butt hole. Somebody is getting this WAP ππππ
Randomize
