She had a bottle of NAIR in her bathroom, but she clearly hadn't been using it.
he is training for a marathon but can't last more than five minutes on top. worst tuesday night ever
she wants me to text her or call her all the time when we are apart...this is not high school...
I can't believe you broke a Paula dean wooden spoon over my ass
I distinctly remember calling the anesthesiologist a "sneaky little bastard" directly to his face
i knew it was love when she pulled a beer out from between her boobs and offered it to me
I achieved the level of drunk I wanted even with the length of dress I was in..
He came all over her clothes we have to leave
I'm recreating the you're a wizard harry video with a guy on snapchat whilst having snapchat sex with another... Adulting is fun
It's a good thing you're straight. You'd make a horrible lesbian.
Double dirt bag award winner tonight. He picked me up in his wife's car.
Like seriously how stupid drunk do you have to get befor you start finding dolphin lighters and shit in your undergarments
i was making a gravity bong in my room and my dad walked in. he helped me finish. i love being home for the holidays.
We stood outside the room listening to them have sex and making meow noises
That's not right, is it?
the coup got in the way of sex but inauguration day came thru we did it joe
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