Just kissed her with a dip in my mouth... She was either too drunk to notice or too cool to care
I can only name 15 people I've had sex with - can I just start claiming that as my sex number?
Well, what part of "I've heard she has crabs" didn't you take into consideration?
He went soft
Wait. During?
Yeah, he was IN. MY. MOUTH.
Housekeeping just called to see if we were okay bc they came in the room earlier and we didn't move.
I'm cleaning my bathroom. That being said I found a klonopin and dropped it and stepped on it. Floor is clean im gonna snort it.
oh, you know. just sitting in my bed high as fuck wearing a windbreaker and watching british tv.
And in my birthday dress, with my friends, i peed on myself in line for the club. Still went in and partied. I remember pieces
I mean two cocks this time. Trust me, I'm not gonna pull the same stunts as last time in this situation
Seriously. What did you do to me. You have a monstercoooooock.
I can't believe I just typed monstercoooooock. Twice.
This means I've slept with 2 ppl that live in vans...my life is complete
I'm bringing my passport in case we get drunk and wind up in Mexico
I wiped my ass with some girl's sock, I would honestly admit if I hate Caitlin's sandwich.
It's difficult to focus on bonds when you know your classmate peed in your mouth
Nothing will ever be as awkward as looking my mother in the eye and talking to her while I have a dick inside me. Time for a lock on my door.
Randomize
