I was watching truelife I'm transgendered. This tranny already got a date a week after getting a vagina. I've had a vagina my entire life and can't get a date.
he's making romantic advances towards me. and he has a pet snake. 2nd part not relevant, but interesting.
She gave me a blow job and her mom gave me blueberry muffin afterwards. I love them.
I couldn't tell if those girls from the bar were lesbians or just awesome
I see you felt the need to carve your name in my kitchen table. thanks
you were fixing your hair in the bathroom mirror and then fell backwards through the locked stall while she was in mid pee and fell on her lap.
We had to go visit his dealer in the hospital to buy some weed.
The couch is in the bathroom. I don't understand how that is even possible. I couldnt even fit that shelf thingy through the door. Come help. I am about to pee my pants.
The worst thing about him living around the corner is that who ever suggests the booty call is the one that walks over.
Vodka and tater tots have managed to satisfy me more than most of the guys I've slept with.
I'm so proud of us for not dying.
And some neighbor just saw me naked and hunched over a bag of potato chips stuffing my face. Maybe clothes aren't a bad idea.
I mean seriously, she can have his dick anytime and im over here salivating like a thirsty bitch.
I am eating croutons on my bathroom floor. Are you happy?!
Is this making any sense, because I’m puking and trying to be Philosophical right now
Randomize