make any headway on the foot/dick situation?
I was in the bathroom throwing up...when I walked out he was sitting there watching porn and jacking off. He said, "Sounded like you were gonna be in there for a while."
He told me he wanted to break up so he could get "closer to God."
Does God suck his dick?
She was giving me great head...... until I asked her how much this was going to cost.... she left abruptly
so the girl i've been sleeping with for 3 weeks now just figured out that i don't know her name
I don't remember how we paid for the cab. I do however remember giving him my heels 2 help with the bill.
He cut part of his finger off. It was a consolation blow job.
We told you to stay put for 2 minutes. We come back out and your being handcuffed yelling "DO YOU FEEL LIKE A GOOD FUCKING PERSON ARRESTING ME ON MY BIRTHDAY?!"
It's national boyfriend day supposedly, would it be appropriate if I posted a picture of my dildo?
Rule #36, branched off rule 4: Dave stays on a leash in crazy settings. It keeps him good and gets you laid.
So essentially he's like a puppy you can bring to a bar? Retractable leash or chain then?
I felt I lost my designated buddy on a field trip when you wandered off to get high with strangers.
Your mankini haunted my dreams.
I mean it's up to you where you want to sleep but I'm telling you you're going to hear us have sex no matter what room you're in.
Fair enough
And our sex soundtracks thus far have been metal and Star Wars
I don’t have enough daddy issues for this shit, make him go away
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