Sex on a kitchen table is not as amazing as they make is seem in the movies.
Just got back from doctors appt. He lied. It wasn't a pimple on his dick.
what part of covering your puke with shaving cream seemed like a good idea?
just shottied a beer can with a pumpkin carver. i love October.
did you dip my ponytail in franzia? its the only thing i can think of to explain my hair right now.
lets just use each other and get past this awkward stage. forget my name.
I tried giving you a bj last night and all you could manage was "Haha that tickles" and "in the morning"
Tid bit for you to add to your "what to expecting when you're expecting to lose your virginity" book... Sex on nyquil is cheaper and BETTER than sex on esctacy AND you sleep like a champ after so you're not able to think about any bad decisions made.
you passed out while setting up your phones timer to time how long it would take before you to passed out.
Hey my dad gave me life the least I can do is take him chicken strips and a pack of marlboros.
Not remembering where I left my grinder before vacation #stonerproblems
You were a for sure 10. You put on a traffic cone to meet someone.
well it was great until i saw his anime body pillow
"He's not as cute as he was last week" and "I'm not as drunk as I was last week" are basically the same sentence.
The girl at the liquor store remembered me as "the girl who pays in hundreds" so she didn't ID me
Randomize
