why does hillary duff have a greatest hits album?
She was wearing a "Got Beer" hat and your bed had necco wafers all over it the next morning. Another story for the grandkids.
I taped Calvin and Kyles heads together face to face while they were passed out. You should have seen them stumbling around using hungover teamwork trying to find scissors.
This text is addressed to sober me: getting drunk by yourself may have seemed like a Good idea at first bit it can tell you that it wasn't ad fun as you thought it would be
Ps your lap top bag is FULL of empty beets
Some lady old enough to be our mom took us home, made me eggs and he still got some. Where do I claim my best wingman/sister trophy?
I walked outside an you were laying down talking to a star about your life. That's when I took the bottle of jack away...
Today I'm playing this game called how physically long can I Lay in this one spot before moving, do you have an estimated time of departure?
I fell asleep in the tanning bed, naked, for an hour and a half and I guess they couldn't wake me up so they called the fire department...and they came in while I was passed out naked...
This will always be remembered as the Christmas I had 15 Russians sing christmas carols to me at 130am alone in a gas station while I was stoned on pot brownies
I'm doing an Uber ride of shame in a red, white and blue bikini top and America shorts. Good for me.
Im so glad I make morally wrong decisions. It's like the best worst thing I've ever done.
I don't know about this Sanders guy after all. I'm voting for MYSTERY BABYLON, WHORE OF ALL THE EARTH
Hillary?
using my tits for other peoples nudes hit me up business in the making
Hey. You got pizza and sex. How much more can you ask for?
You know your life has gone off the rails when waking up in a Spanish hospital with alcohol poisoning and no memory of how you got there is not even your top wildest drinking story.
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