I totally have a Rabbi on speed dial now. Keep it Kosher.
im going to have to ask you to stop vomiting stars, rainbows, and butterflies all over your facebook statuses...
I feel like if you stuck me in a room with all my old toys it'd be the best high ever.
She gave me a foot massage with her tongue. I think we're both scarred for life.
Went to get my tattoo today. Found out the piercing girl is bi. I may just get my nipples done to get hit on tomorrow. Confidence is low these days.
How unacceptable would it be to bar hop with a funnel in the square? It's Halloweekend and I plan on going hard. I can claim it goes w/ my costume. But I don't think the MIMITW uses funnels.
I think i just fucked the same guy a second time without realizing it....does that make me a good whore or a bad whore???
I wish you could take over my body and feel what my nipple feels like right now
I swear to god, if you fuck the hot one you're paying me back for the shot I just bought her
Then you bent down and whispered, "excuse me mr. Stair, could you please stop moving?"
my biography would be titled "haunting truths and dick jokes: a tale of love, loss, and masturbation."
This guy is selling weed on the train. Like... Straight up. No fucks given.
I smell like heartbreak.
Tequila and sloppy rebound sex?
How did you know?
She had a toddler. It threw up and then some guy said party foul and put it on the porch. Going back next Friday.
I think my time would be better spent seducing the TA then trying to save this paper.
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