I faked an abortion last night.
Is pulling weed out of a vagina a good thing or a bad thing?
He told me he had more lines than a plaid shirt
We had sex on my friends waterbed ..after that the whole school kept asking him if he had fun getting "sea-sick" last night.
who paints a picture of their own dick and sends it to people. i dont know if its borderline crazy or just fucking genius...
He offered me a ride home but i walked. He lives by an elementary school so a 10 yr old safety officer helped me across the street during my walk of shame
i am way too old to be getting fingered at work
Operation liquormelon is in full effect. We may die tonight.
I'm doing the Macarena naked in my living room right now
I see you're taking unemployment seriously.
alright. I just need to set some ground rules, no lighting me on fire, and no broken bones. fair?
So I was thinking for Halloween I'd do Dr. Jekyll and Mr. Hyde....for my vagina.
You remember the guy they called Meat in high school? Well, let's just say my vagina remembers him now.
I'm crying during the second episode of Golden Girls that's how high I am.
OF COURSE I FUCKED HIM! Did you not read the part about him having red and green Christmas condoms?
I just woke up with a cowboy hat on my face and a playboy from the 90s on my chest
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