Honestly I wish you never came into my life. I know I don't want you. But I keep trying to get you back bc of the memories
I don't see you I see the memories. All the time
i fuckib htae you, you church bitch.
He saved me in his phone as Easy Jen. Should I be offended?
I wouldn't worry about it. He has me as "Sex Puppet."
I told her at least we still had each other. That's when she started crying.
she just made a shot glass out of magazine paper. I love her.
In my 8 am class there was a pack of birth control on the board with a note saying, "Some dude somewhere is unhappy."
i called him pencil dick in front of over half of his fraternity brothers...
...never gotten so many high fives in my life! fuck ya i win!
My mom asked me if I was being satisfied, sexually. And then discussed positioning.
So i do have strep. My apologies to the british guy from this weekend. You now have one more reason to hate america
I'm on the bus, watching a girl shush her balloons.
I don't care how hot she is, her cat has pissed on me twice.
Btw, you're my emergency contact at Planned Parenthood
Come over. But instead of sex, will you rub anti itch cream all over my face?
let’s face it, me joining a co-ed soccer league is like, 33% motivated by my crotch seeking a healthy outlet
Everything is scary i hate being an adult i hate responsibility tell me a dick joke
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