I sk at the spereo and my dad gave me and all access pass
what???
AN ALL ACCESS PASSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSS
Someone told me that drinking would get me no where in life. Drinking has gotten me everywhere in life.
...she's taking her top off and singing songs from Anastasia. I swear to God were solumates.
ok this guy next to me just sat down with a no joke, 10,000 page book, popped an addy, cracked open a red bull and opened the book to page 1.
The fairy wings and cowboy hats were not the issue. The bag of cocaine that I held in the air as we drove in the parade might have been.
This is breast cancer awareness month... The least we can do is give a stripper some singles.
On a scale of 1-10 how seriously are we considering being sugar babies?
I'm about a 7.95
the lesbians just got naked and went into the ocean... this never happened when i was a camper.
The school security guard knows my name.... I think I'm missing some memories...
You got me 4 pizzas and i just saw this. I'm too drunk for this shit. I just yelled "4 pizzas holy shit!" At the pizza dude
Smoked a blunt with my dad then introduced him to cinnabon delights. Today was a good day.
Do toy wanna orseer frim onedof tjose plaves? Sry textimg with globes on
Gloves*
Out of all the words to correct, you chose gloves??
Just as an add on, don't expect me to wear matching bra and underwear. If I do, I'm probably drunk and it's your fucking birthday. Have a great night.
what the fuck happened to the tacos
Found someone cuddling with my Uggs this morning. Guess the hundred pillows laying next to him weren't good enough.
Randomize
