HIV tests are more positive than that guy
It was kind of weird
What did your mom walk in?
She flung her tampon across the room.
It's sad that I have started checking out the ring finger before the rack...I'm getting old
wait so...it's like an actual thing to masturbate using the detachable shower head? WTF I thought I was being creative!
I'm sitting by the window waiting for the sun to go down so that I can start drinking.
Dude has a bag of wine attached to his belt. These guys don't fuck around.
You know why I moved here? No public intoxication law. A cop just helped me from my bent over vomit pose, asked if I was ok, and gave me a ride home.
I'm drugging my best friend. I'm like a whole new level of bitch.
I went out as a member of the house of Gryfindor and came home as Snooki
Oh and in case you were wondering it is not a good idea to eat weed brownies and then go out to the bar. When I got off the bar stool my high had just hit me and I felt like Bambi taking his first steps
This is actually a pretty big deal for him. I mean, he contacted a stranger out of concern for someone else instead of for sex.
That does show growth.
I'm sitting with my parents watching football and moaned when I saw his shirtless picture. They looked at me weird so I had to turn the moan into a laugh. A sad, really horny laugh.
Go forth my little lesbian, get your gayme on
So ive come to the realization that my affinity for tattooed guys makes me the literal definition of tit for tat
That last one reminds me of the time we smoked that foot-long joint and by the time we'd finished we were so stoned we applauded it.
Randomize