Hey dude. Went to the hospital. Call me when you get up
Omg my grandpa just told me he wants to die in his 90's shot by a jealous husband
Mmmm, vodka for breakfast
i feel so shallow. people in iran are using twitter to write hardcore nathan hale shit about dying for freedom. my last tweet was "i hate the taco shits"
that girl looks like she smells like hot dog water...
You owe me a new pair of headphones. You plugged mine into the top of a mustard bottle.
they just started filling water ballons with vodka.
on my way.
were drug buddies, doing lines off her ass is just a bonus
You know me. Don't need roses, just dick and food.
you're my knight in shining pee-resistant armor
They have chocolate covered tequila candy at work. This is not a drill. May be drunk by noon.
i understand you have values and thats awesome, all i want to help you do is forget about them breifly
Well you just missed the ten chi o pledges singing la bamba at our doorstep.
I think your husband is breaking up with me...
Do you remember the guy that smelled like hot dogs?
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