New invention idea: vibrating tampons
Well maybe next time you won't tell me to do whatever I want.
I have tardy slips. and absent slips if you don't show up to the bar. and trust me, if you are absent there will be a saturday school. I'm teaching you how to drink tonight.
He spent 6 hours at the ER after crashing a motorcycle and still came to the bar, Ofcourse I went home with him. He's my hero.
I JUST MET THE GIANT MAN THAT WILL CARRY ME FROM PLACE TO PLACE
my knee is completely bruised from kneesliding into the bowling ball. bowling for creativity points was a win
Just heard the girl at the bar cuss her bf out and order a long island ice tea. Going to give it 5 min then I'm going in. See you on the other side.
High enough to ask the woman at best buy if she ever feels like she's swimming. and telling the man outside that he smells like happy juice.
I don't have any bail money, if that's where this conversation is going
You were cuddling with an eight iron and I was eating a fajita completely ignoring your presence.
Positive reinforcement! I'm training him for being a good boy and coming over. He gets sex and cookies.
What was my myspace song when I went away to rehab?
I would have rather been getting my vagina slowly waxed all day then be here.
a girl walked up to me and asked if you were my brother. she shook her head and said 'im so sorry' when i said yes. what did you fucking do????????
Is it good porn? Or is it more of that fucked up Cabbage Patch Doll porn you made us watch
Randomize
