So is it bad that I'm using this 21 year old for his hot bod and utter naivety?
No its what 21 year olds are made for
i fell asleep last night with fifteen animal crackers in my mouth. rock bottom dude.
He said they were doing a skit in class apparently someone else is dressed like a horse. Ive never felt more proned to skipping class than now
I think being a buddhist has made me a better drunk
I'm pretty sure you thought I could absorb alcohol through my dress
you had a pretty long talk with your shrooms in attempt to make them not give you a bad trip, it failed
The important thing is not that we avoid making mistakes, but that we avoid learning from them.
'Well you know, stuff happens' isn't really an excuse for sticking a cheeto in my ear
She wants to go as a facebook "like" for halloween, but right now her costume looks more like the hamburger helper hand with broken fingers.
We decided to make playlists for each other. Do you know any songs that say "sorry I'm not as hot as your prostitute ex?"
I wanted to make fun of someone saying that to an untrained ear, skrillex is blah blah blah. But it was too soon after they said it. And now I can't find it. These are real problems.
A drank guy in the ER just sang Trouble to me and when he sang 'Lying on the cold hard ground' he threw himself onto the ground and landed on the wrist he'd just broken. Thirsty Thursday is weird already and it's not even 5.
I like her. She smells like old lady but tastes like whiskey
4 pharmacies and not one had Plan B. If this is gods way of telling me it's time for a child, he can fuck off.
He stopped the gas pump at 69 and gave me my receipt. He wants it.
Randomize
