Is this going to be a big send off or a somber occasion? Just need to know if I should start drinking on the train or not.
It was like what a highfive between zeus and Jesus would sound like
she wants me to text her or call her all the time when we are apart...this is not high school...
Two grown ass men just come into the bar riding humongous tricyles
He tried to write down the address for the cab on half a bagel.
Taking shot for every red box on your worst bracket. I have 30. I might die tonight.
Any coincidence your getting married tomorrow and it's the most predicted day for the rapture? Just saying
After i finished him. He goes "youre a champion"... Then whispers "forever"
I believe I can fly has to be one of the most inspirational songs of our time. Seriously R. Kelly nailed it
Then he went and peed on those teenagers.
It really does creep me out though that the next ten years will involve my friends creating smaller versions of themselves because to be honest I don't know how much I like some of them. So that thought it really scary
you walked around drinking beer out of a plunger and telling people it was a goblet...
I found my grandmother's vibrator, how was your day?
I'm just concerned as to why his penis is two different colors.
Great news. I WILL BE FUCKING IN A BOUNCY HOUSE TOMORROW.
i just got drunk and created an entire Dr Seuss unit for my first graders.
Randomize
