i thought she was just hairy. i didn't know she was also a man.
Remember, sex is not sex til both people cross the finish line. Until then, it is just a favor.
we're doing shots for every degree below freezing it is outside
his facial hair looked like he just ate out someone's ass
the first call I got in the morning was from visa fraud prevention so yeah it was one of those nights
Maybe she got knocked up by accident. I still refuse to believe that anyone actually INTENTIONALLY gets pregnant.
That fucking fat Asian kid that NOBODY invited is stuck in the dryer again
I could hear them screwing through my bedroom wall again this morning, so I started beat boxing to the tempo.
Smoked a blunt with a girl i met at the bus stop today. What you did today is irrelevant
Two run-ins with cops/park rangers tonight and now I'm just wandering around high and shirtless
Sacramento doesn't deserve you
He wouldn't stop calling me so I sent him a text saying "I'm dead. Dead. Leave me alone." And he replied with "so can I see you then?"
You've opened Pandora's butthole my friend. There's no going back.
6 showers laters and I still feel like I have his vomit in my vagina. At least I could help him figure out he's gay.
It's a sad day when you're not really phased by the McChicken video only because you've seen weirder porn.
she compared me favorably to her vibrator
which one?
Randomize
