you were chalanging people to drink the "worlds biggest jager bomb" - a VASE of Redbull and a PINT of Jager... is it no wonder you dont remember anything?
Yes, I am watching The Hills Have Thighs. And yes it is a porno remake of The Hills Have Eyes. And, again, yes, lesbian sex in the desert. Get the sand out.
She is chewing on staples and spitting them at her cat, I think it's time to leave..
He must be back home now. He moved his box of beer from her porch to ours.
I want to see you in more than a weed delivering capacity
Can I just say that you're probably one of my favorite people to have sex with and then eat hummus with at 3:45am?
He got me a cake that said " Congratulations on the dick "
I just used crown royal bags as pot holders...
I think the only context in which I'd be comfortable being kidnapped is by a band of baby sloths
I'm glad our friendship can withstand laughing mid-blowjob during the diarrhea scene in Dumb & Dumber.
I'm shopping for Mother's Day cards while waiting for my herpes medication. What is life.
i always handshake my one night stand, im classy like that.
I'm never going to adult. I'm staying a child. The only thing related to adult that I want to do is you.
So I fell alseep while I was motorboating that girl last night infront of the entire party.
On a scale of one to ten how bad is it that the first cardio I've done in months is jogging to the bars?
I'll just go with dedication.
Randomize
