good penises are hard to come by.... must be the economy...
Make me a promise>>> if you ever see the brats from that tv show NYC Prep walking around, you will trip them, and you wil throw drinks on them
My professor is talking about sperm and all I can think about is my mouth
All I want to do right now is burp, puke, and fart. In that order.
I'd give my left nut to see you
don't do that. I like the set
im not picky. i just want someone whod go down on me while im writing my psych midterm paper. thats not a lot to ask.
I had to download the flashlight app so I could finish taking a dump when the power went out.
Omg. One night stands are not supposed to show up to your swim class the morning after. Worst lesson ever.
you put your hands over the taxi driver's eyes and shouted GUESS THE WAY TO THE CLUB
By the way, do you realize that you asked me how much you could get for your eggs last night. And once you learned the price said that you had plenty to share.
we were both freshly single and using each other as rebounds. most intense sex I've ever had. i felt like a grizzly bear emerging from hibernation in a whirlwind of sexual fury
Well. I hope my dad likes whatever sweater stoned me picks out.
Her ex was at the party her housemates were having. He knocked on her door asking how she was while we were going at it. Turns out they were trying to work things out. Don't think I'll ever forget his face when we walked out of her room.
I'm extremely upset that I wasted my "having sex with a guy at work" card on him
so i realized that he's only my physical relationship and beer is my emotional relationship...
Randomize
