I just fell asleep with a sandwich in my mouth at Cosi..people definitely saw
Some guy on the train just glared at me. So I'm drinking tequilla out of a dixie cup. Go fuck yourself.
So... My dad just saw the Plan B package and the beer cans in my backseat.
Oh its cool I'm sure he already knows you're a whore and an alcoholic.
incase your class ends early, there are three naked guys in our room. but don't get too excited, they're all gay.
you should be careful. everyone knows your chances of pregnancy increase by 100 percent when youre the daughter of a religious figure
I dont know how to respond to your rave picture. I mean yeah, he's hot, but it just seems wrong to be like "Please tell me you fucked that guy with the pacifier!"
I was so drugged up it was amazing, I felt like a dinosaur "because I enjoyed spinach, and I got apple juice and only dinosaurs get apple juice" according to me the day of, and last night I felt like a rocket ship
Send me one of your boob pics as an example. I mean this in the straightest least lesbian way possible.
I'm wearing a dinosaur hat bikini cone bra over my shirt. So good things are happening
Makes sense. My grandma just did this shot. MY FAMILY KICKS ASS.
He sent me nudes and I told him he reminded me of Buffalo Bill.
He wore the same cologne as my orthodontist so all I could think about was how I hadn't worn my retainer in months
Teach me the ways of your demonic sorcery.
Go have sex with him right now! Drunk sex is the best sex.
I know but these gold fish are so much better
Oh please. Preoccupy yourself with my penis.
Randomize
