Being 21 is my favorite hobby I'm really good at it
I hope to God it wasnt poon. That odor was unnatural, it was satanic pussy.
Correction, I've been on a lot of dates and a lot of dicks
He was singing Will Smith Just the Two of Us to his burrito. That high.
im pretty sure your bra is in my room hanging on my shark pinata
Well, I now know how many glasses of wine it takes for me to fuck my neighbor.
tell me there's a reason my bed smells like paint thinner
I think I've had 45 beers today though So things are looking up.
Wtf are freshmen gonna think when the first thing they see in a pale 6'4 white kid with a mustache yelling ya man and we be liming in a Trinidadian accent
Four times in one night? That Energizer bunny outfit lived up to the hype.
My roommate just walked in with a case of beer locked himself in his room and told us he was going to masturbate his feelings away...
I was a bouncer for about 90 seconds until the real bouncers figured out that I was doing their job
It might be whiskey, but I view Marge and Homer Simpson as something to strive for
Did you really eat 10 ice cream cones today?
It was tough but I powered through it.
I just convinced a telemarketer I live in a tree.
What did he say?
He still asked if I want a home security system.
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