gavin joseph was born around 1 oclock 9lbs 12oz... over 21 inches long
Thats what she said
I'm talking handstands, sex in broad daylight, waking me up in the middle of the night. CRAZY
handstands? WTF?
she was a gymnast
go to hell.
Kenny Powers is just a normal guy with exceptional hair
we sat in the hammock and pretended we were skydiving for three hours. jack actually started crying when i convinced him his chute didnt open.
i told him to take shots to cure a hangover and he told me i was "walking the steppingstones to alcoholism"
She's mad at me cuz I told her having a fuck buddy was too much commitment.
he turned down sex AND sandwiches. who the hell does that?!
Tom is laying in a bathtub filled with ice pretending to be a polar bear.
I spent a lot of time in their kitchen cause I was convinced that the living room was gonna fall... Sorry for not warning you about that.
Let's get weird.
It's 10 am...
I'm assuming that means you're not busy...
It could be worse. I was dumped by a guy in a kilt after he gave my shoes away on St. Patrick's Day.
I based a lot of our friendship on the fact that I thought you were crying from feeling so sad for me when I got crabs. I'm not sure if we can ever be as close now.
She may be more beautiful than I am, but I bet she hasnt pissed in as many public places as me...
I'm the girl holding the bag of goldfish
Thanks for the reference. If your boss hires me, I'll buy you a drink.
If my boss hires you, I'm going to need it.
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