yeah that facebook group of people who have had sex with me probably isn't to discreet...
I have had it with that bitchy sack of crazy. Iam done!
He has jerked off in so many socks I am surprised he doesn't have athletes dick
They are providing beer and having a margarita machine. This cannot be passed up.
And your hair- I'd make sure to pee on it first.
I hope no one at work will be able to read the "who wants body shots" on my chest. I forgot about it.
Dwarf fight at five guys. Today was a good day.
Well duh, alcohol and getting fucked up are the world's common languages.
I made my own utility belt like Batman. It has a cup holder for my beer, cell phone holder, a little pocket for condoms, and a sewing kit just in case.
New one-upper goal: I have to shit off the side of a moving train then jump off
His whole street is under construction. Third walk of shame this week & I'm getting a lot of sympathetic nods from the workers.
Well, I dont really know how much penis you have at your disposal so I cant be sure
I feel like an involuntary Mother Theresa. I DON'T WANT TO BE ABSTINENT!
I just puke and rallied at my anniversary dinner #winning
I just turned down an invite to sit on a face. IDK who I am.
What? Are you sick?
Randomize
