I am pretty sure he just licked my hand while trying to sing goo goo dolls iris to me. Get me out of this state.
It was like a fairy tale, until he tried to put it in my ass...
It was all about her orgasm last night. I felt like a human dildo.
but he used his one phone call to call mom and wish her happy mothers day, that's gotta count for somethin
I found a picture of my kindergarten class. Now you can see whose peer pressure I succumbed to.
yeah you're probably right.. i should stop equating love with getting naked on a webcam for him.
Your 'drink of the future' makes sense now- you feel it for atleast 10 hours into the future
Operation: pick up a lawyer was a resounding success. Commence operation: football mugshot weekend
Are we in any of the areas with tornados?
Dude, i don't even have pants on yet, it's too early to think about tornadoes.
I just almost puked & then I panicked and forced it back down because I thought I would be a waste of the apple turnover I ate.. I'm that hungover
Omg I can't even...
There is a midget in cheetah face paint on a leash here
So vagazzling was a success
i'm 99% sure they had an orgy while i was passed out
Why is it pressure? I want to see your cute face and possibly sit on it. You make it like its a bad thing.
It was like mission impossible.
but with sex.
Randomize
