just walked into the room and her sister said loudly, "do him, or I will."
Just invented new drinking game watching Hocus Pocus... everytime they say "virgin" wetake a shot and yell out "to j****"
I don't know how it happened, one minute we were talking about Huck Finn, the next minute I was blowing him behind the corner of his apartment building.
By the end of the night i was making legitimate noises not just saying moo.
We have been pregaming the shutdown of the government since Tuesday. Send help, and some more liquor.
Houston, we have a blender
The basket that the Naughty Easter bunny left for you at my house might keep us entertained for a little while...
Hi future me, I saved you a big mac under the bed.
Although I feel like awkward kinda describes your entire sexual history...
I just picked up a hitchhiker so karma will be on our side this weekend. Hahahahahaha
No.
Trying to ignore the fact that a kid I hooked up with twice just gave me spare keys to his house ... and car.
this hangover isn't hhappening. im not letting it
its winning. its definitely happening
Rock bottom: having sex rejected while your boyfriend talks in his sleep as you stuff your face with Girl Scout cookies
It’s just hard to believe you really care about me when u haven’t touched my dick in 2 months
eating a weed cupcake with nutella on top at work. i AM a star!
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